


another shitty groupchat au

by childoftheimpossiblerevolution



Category: Naruto
Genre: Agender zetsu, Alternate Universe - High School, Bi gender tenten, Confused Nara Shikamaru, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gen, Genderfluid Uzumaki Naruto, Hashirama and madara are engaged, High School, Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Naruto is Just Naruto, Parent Umino Iruka, Past Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Sasuke has a crush and can't handle it, Tobirama is not at all happy about that, Trans Haku, Trans Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Umino Iruka Adopts Uzumaki Naruto, all the adults are teachers, bi naruto, fuck jiraiya, fugaku uchiha can suck my non-existent dick, groupchat, groupchat au, jiraiya is fresh from prison, kakashi has crippling depression, kurenai and asuma are married, lesbian ino, married kakagai, naruto is still an orphan, non binary choji, orochimaru is a tax evader and draft dodger, pan tenten, sasuke and itachi are half korean, syrian sand sibs, the akatsuki are a gang, trans anko
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22165045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childoftheimpossiblerevolution/pseuds/childoftheimpossiblerevolution
Summary: just a terrible groupchat/high school au to distract me from actually writing my own stuff
Relationships: Aburame Shino & Hyuuga Hinata & Inuzuka Kiba, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Sai, Deidara/Sasori (Naruto), Gaara/Rock Lee, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino, Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hoozuki Suigetsu/Karin, Hyuuga Hinata/Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Neji/Tenten, Konan/Nagato | Pain, Nara Shikamaru/Temari, Sarutobi Asuma/Yuuhi Kurenai, Senju Hashirama/Uchiha Madara, Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Izuna, Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Izumi, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, naruto has dated pretty much everybody in his group except for sasuke and ino
Comments: 21
Kudos: 132
Collections: Team 7 🌀, why im sleep deprived 💖✨





	1. 420 smoke it

**Author's Note:**

> seventhking - naruto  
> Cherryqueen - sakura  
> return2019 - sasuke  
> croptopwontstop - sai  
> blaze it - shikamaru  
> omni-vore - choji  
> sapphowasright - ino  
> Buzzkill - neji  
> 10/10 - tenten  
> hina - hinata  
> whomst'd've - shino  
> averygoodboy - kiba  
> thepxwerxfyxuth - lee

**Group: Konoha 11 (and Sai)**

**Members online:** seventhking, Cherryqueen, return2019, blaze it, omni-vore, sapphowasright, Buzzkill, 10/10, hina, averygoodboy, whomst’d’ve

1:24pm

**blaze it:** GUYS HELP ME I THINK THE CUTE NEW TRANSFER STUDENT HATES ME THIS IS A DRAG!!!!!!!

**10/10:** wait we have transfers

**hina:** yeah, you know the ones who came from the arabic exchange program from the middle east, it happened like a week ago

**hina:** tenten, how do u not know? im not blaming you, its just that all of my teachers have been talking about it

**10/10:** to be honest, i barely know jackshit about wtf is even happening half the time anyways

**Buzzkill:** that is true, like how you are texting in english right now instead of paying attention to what mr hatake is saying. I knew it was a mistake on mr hatake’s part to change our seating arrangements now no one can stop you from texting in class.

**10/10:** neji chill its a lecture about fucking HAMLET

**10/10:** speaking of which, what are you doing on YOUR phone at the moment ;)?

**Buzzkill:** ...touché.

**omni-vore:** shika what happened?

**sapphowasright:** why do u wanna know choji?

**sapphowasright:** could someone be…jealous?

**omni-vore:** its quite simple ino,

**omni-vore:** as shika’s best nb pal, i am obligated to assist him with whatever romantic endeavors may come up in his life

**omni-vore:** there is a reason you, ino, are not as deeply rooted into shikamaru’s life as i am

**sapphowasright:** oof i am hurt

**sapphowasright:** choji’s harassing me yall

**seventhking:** SHIKA WHO IS IT

**blaze it:** its the middle eastern girl

**blaze it:** shes in our history block

**blaze it:** you know, the one who wears that really pretty black hijab and has blonde hair and has those two other transfers who are always hanging out with her, one of them has red hair?

**blaze it:** y’know, shes really smart and her muscles flex under her clothes when shes playing basketball

**Buzzkill:** yes, yes we know what you’re saying, you can shut up now

**Cherryqueen:** wait, shika has a crush?

**blaze it:** um yes, i think thats pretty evident

**blaze it:** i think at this point everyone in school has a crush on her shes pretty fine

**return2019:** is that mlm erasure i see?

**seventhking:** oh deary everyone brace yourself for sasuke’s daily monologue on why cishets are destroying society

**blaze it:** hol up sasuke wait i got a picture

**(blaze it has sent an image)**

**blaze it:** _ yalllookather.png _

**return2019:** aahhh okay shes kinda cute

**return2019:** i already pasted the monologue in nvm

**whomst’d’ve:** why is there a picture of her just ready for viewing???

**whomst’d’ve:** thats kinda weird dont u think

**blaze it:** it was for lee

**blaze it:** he didn’t believe me when i told him how hot she is,,,,,, she could step on me and id say thanks

**averygoodboy:** has our man shikamaru nara potentially found himself a suitable mate?

**return2019:** sad that hes probably too lazy to even talk to her,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, hed take around 200 years just to walk over to her

**blaze it:** i know but hey

**Cherryqueen:** lol u know u still love sasuke XD

**sapphowasright:** yo sakura didn’t u have a huge crush on sasuke back in seventh grade tho

**Cherryqueen:** babe pls dont go digging for skeletons in closets

**10/10:** yall dated for like nine months tho before sasuke transitioned

**Cherryqueen:** WE NEVER SPEAK OF THAT

**(thepxwerxfyxuth has logged on)**

**thepxwerxfyxuth:** hi everybody! :D

**Cherryqueen:** LEE MY SAVIOR HOW ARE YOU

**thepxwerxfyxuth:** sorry i missed yall, i came in late from a dentist appointment!

**Buzzkill:** believe me lee, you have missed literally nothing, except shikamaru being a dumb straight and US LITERALLY TALKING FOR WAY TOO DAMN LONG AND WE STILL DONT KNOW WHAT SHIKAMARU DID TO MAKE THE NEW STUDENT HATE HIM

**10/10:** fair we need to know

**thepxwerxfyxuth:** im sure she doesn’t hate him, thats a little exaggerated

**Cherryqueen:** lee youre just being nice

**10/10:** shika did u really do something to make her hate you???

**return2019:** he lived thats what he did

**blaze it:** fUCK YOU SASUKE anything that comes out of your mouth is stupid

**return2019:** shikamaru.

**hina:** lol yall are funny

**seventhking:** look at lil hinata

**seventhking:** so naive

**seventhking:** so childlike

**seventhking:** saying lol in 2020

**hina:** haha naruto were both 15 lol

**seventhking:** (blows kiss at hinata)

**return2019:** fuck yall we get it ur both the sexiest couple alive shut it

**hina:** Wait, sasuke, u think were dating?

**seventhking:** well that was unexpected

**return2019:** Are you?? That’s what i thought??

**hina:** lol nope

**Cherryqueen:** naruto’s too dumb for someone like hinata

**seventhking:** haha it's funny because it’s true

**omni-vore:** shikamaru, you still there?

**blaze it:** yep

**omni-vore:** hurry the FUCK up and tell us what happened

**blaze it:** oh ok

**blaze it:** ok so this is pretty stupid so dont think im mentally behind or anything

**blaze it:** in my defense her hijab looked pretty similar to that black hood that kiba wears to sneak his dog to school and she was turned away talking to that creepy dude from my homeroom and i was kinda dissociating cause schools a drag but whatever

**blaze it:** you know That Creepy Guy

**blaze it:** the one with the red hair and crazy eyeliner

**blaze it:** i also might have been stoned a lil bit but no one needs to tell anybody

**blaze it:** i ran up to her and grabbed her arm and lifted up her hijab and yelled in her ear “sMOKE WEED EVERYDAY” and SHE JUST GAVE ME THE WORST LOOK

**10/10:** holy mother of rectangles

**blaze it:** hold up tenten im not done yet

**blaze it:** so that one detail about me being stoned is kind of important because i think my stomach reacted weirdly to the stoning in question combined with the utter shock of seeing HER

**blaze it:** so……… that is the story of how i might have thrown up in my mouth and it came out onto her thigh

**blaze it:** im pretty sure she would have slit my throat right in front of her creepy brother if ms yuhi hadn’t come out to talk to her at that moment

**Buzzkill:** wtf is wrong with you

**seventhking:** shika, my buddy,,,,,,,, i am sincerely shocked

**seventhking:** i thought u were better than this

**Cherryqueen:** ASDFGHJKL

**Cherryqueen:** YOU THOUGHT A MUSCULAR HOT MIDDLE EASTERN CHICK

**Cherryqueen:** WAS FUCKING KIBA

**whomst’d’ve:** shikamaru u dumb as fuck

**blaze it:** fantastic to see that you are all taking great pity for me and my situation

**averygoodboy:** THAT IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT YO

**hina:** i am really trying my hardest not to burst out laughing in the middle of bio and fucking yamato is giving me the judgiest look

**blaze it:** that’s what u get hinata

**thepxwerxfyxuth:** shika why were u stoned at school u could have been caught

**omni-vore:** yeah shika bro u have a beautiful brain plz dont kill it doing drugs

**blaze it:** tbh im not defending myself or anything but hear me out I just finished class with that gross slimy asshead known as mr orochimaru and to be fair i needed to avoid thinking about him and I already had some weed i got from sasori

**sapphowasright:** mood

**thepxwerxfyxuth:** um no it isnt?

**return2019:** wait sasori as in THE sasori

**return2019:** like my brother’s gang sasori

**blaze it:** yes and-?

**return2019:** nothing hes just kinda weird

**whomst’d’ve:** i mean the guy has a face of a 6 year old and gives tiny sophomores weed just because they have the tiniest connections to their friend itachi

**whomst’d’ve:** like im sure the only reason shikamaru got that stuff from sasori was because he was the friend of sasuke’s friend who knows sasuke’s older brother

**return2019:** wait u are referencing me and naruto right

**whomst’d’ve:** right?? Who else?

**seventhking:** wait sasuke buddy ur unsure we’re friends?

**return2019:** no im just checking to make sure shino was accurate

**return2019:** gtg

**(return2019 has logged off)**

**hina:** huh hes weird

**Buzzkill:** eh he’s sasuke

**10/10:** thats fair

**10/10:** oh hol up gtg too see yall yEET

**thepxwerxfyxuth:** bye tenten!

**(10/10 has logged off)**

**(croptopwontstop has logged on)**

**croptopwontstop:** hello naughty children

**seventhking:** oh hey sai u missed the whole story!

**Buzzkill:** shikamaru got his stoner ass beat at his own hand

**blaze it:** SAI THEY'RE JUST BEING MEAN

**Cherryqueen:** lol nah shika had a crush and ruined it in a matter of seconds

**croptopwontstop:** dude u stupid as hell

**blaze it:** yall are being a drag

**thepxwerxfyxuth:** awww shika you’re being dramatic its gonna be fine! To help with your stress, u could come by the gym after school one day and take track with guy-sensei, hes the greatest teacher! :D

**omni-vore:** oh yeah i love mr guy hes great

**sapphowasright:** choji dont u hate gym

**omni-vore:** yes but u dont have to like the subject a teacher teaches to like them

**croptopwontstop:** point

**blaze it:** i hate yall

**blaze it:** im leaving, but if any of u bring up The Incident™ around that girl i like i will possess you using only my shadow

**(blaze it has logged out)**


	2. HENTAI HAVEN IS BACK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asuma - asuma  
> green.beast. - might guy  
> IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION - kakashi  
> baki - baki  
> god is a woman - tsunade  
> shizune - shizune  
> snek - orochimaru  
> gay babysitter - yamato  
> bigtittygothgf - anko  
> token hetero - kurenai

**Group: Squad leaders**

**Members online:** asuma, green.beast., IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION, baki, god is a woman, shizune, snek, gay babysitter, bigtittygothgf

6:21pm

**bigtittygothgf:** happy 2020 everyone! New decade, new tits!

**asuma:** happy 2020 anko! How did the top surgery go

**bigtittygothgf:** well i didnt die and i have a new pair of jugs, so

**bigtittygothgf:** at least my decades starting off pretty lit

**green.beast.:** congrats, my youthful friend! What do you all want to be for 2020?

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** dead

**god is a woman:** jesus christ kakashi lighten up

**green.beast.:** b...babe we talked about this

**gay babysitter:** hi everyone

**gay babysitter:** kakashi can u please tell ur son to stop behaving strangely in my class

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** i dont have a kid. I have one husband and a dog.

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** but why which one

**gay babysitter:** sai

**gay babysitter:** he keeps doodling curse words in his notes and sketchbook and has an attitude with me everytime i tell him to stop

**gay babysitter:** i hate being the babysitter

**asuma:** well your name is gay babysitter for a reason

**(token hetero has logged on)**

**token hetero:** asuma can u get off the chat and help me with mirai pls

**asuma:** oh sure see you guys

**(asuma has logged off)**

**(token hetero has logged off)**

**green.beast.:** hey guys did u all meet the new transfer teacher from the middle east. Hes really nice

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** whomst

**green.beast.:** oh yah u haven't met him yet kakashi

**green.beast.:** his name is baki and hes really cool and i thought i could add him to the teachers chat

**god is a woman:** yeah sure why not

**(green.beast. added baki)**

**baki:** hi...how does this work

**shizune:** hi baki!

**snek:** hey baki welcome your hair looks like a piece of used soap that was soaked in dirty shower water

**god is a woman:** hey baki please ignore orochimaru his brain is as shriveled up as an expired raisin

**snek:** my dear tsunade i am hurt

**gay babysitter:** lol nice metaphors guys

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** wrong its simile

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** im an english teacher i just know these things

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** to quote yourdictionary.com, “The main difference between a simile and metaphor is that a simile uses the words "like" or "as" to draw a comparison and a metaphor simply states the comparison without using "like" or "as".”

**gay babysitter:** oh thank you!

**snek:** yall are nerds

**shizune:** or theyre just smart, orochimaru

**shizune:** unlike some people

**(nard’s dad has logged on)**

**nard’s dad:** hey everybody

**shizune:** hi iruka :D

**nard’s dad:** i have to go to night school soon and naruto is out with sakura and lee does anyone know if he changed his pronouns recently?

**green.beast.:** ah, young naruto did come by my health classroom today dressed in a tracksuit and had a male symbol pin on his front pocket, im pretty sure he’s going by male pronouns today

**nard’s dad:** ah thx guy

**(nard’s dad has logged off)**

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** hey guy are we staying in tonight im kinda tired

**green.beast.:** sure thing, my eternal rival! :DDD

**bigtittygothgf:** if yall are married how come u still call kakashi ur eternal rival or whatever

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** hes just being a moron

**green.beast.:** haha, good ol kakashi. Do u want me to cook or order something if u want me with u?

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** whatever is fine, hon

**shizune:** awww yall are adorable i wish i had a relationship like yours

**snek:** ey hows the sex

**snek:** im sure you both enjoy getting on your knees for each other, of course <3

**god is a woman:** how about getting on your knees and praying to god?

**gay babysitter:** yeah orochimaru that is none of your concern

**snek:** penis

**god is a woman:** you are a 6th grader

**god is a woman:** im leaving this radioactive mess

**(god is a woman has left)**

**snek:** haha what a pussy right guys

**(baki has left)**

**(gay babysitter has left)**

**(shizune has left)**

**(bigtittygothgf has left)**

**(green.beast. has left)**

**(IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION has left)**


	3. H...hewwo...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kabuto and Orochimaru copy some weird hewwo Obama RP, Hinata and Sasuke discuss feelings, and Kankuro appears!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> snek - Orochimaru  
> snake fucker - Kabuto  
> whiteriot - Suigetsu

**return2019 + hina**

6:26pm

**return2019:** um hi

**return2019:** so u arent dating naruto

**hina:** haha no

**hina:** we’re just friends, and i like kiba anyways

**hina:** i don’t want to be nosy, but why are u so curious all of a sudden?

**return2019:** nothing

**hina:** really

  
**return2019:** don't fucking cross the line  hinata

**hina:** sasuke pls

**hina:** its okay

**return2019:** stop talking hinata

**hina:** you have a crush on me, right?

**return2019:** lol never

**hina:** D:

**return2019:** idgaf

**return2019:** ANYWAYS,

**return2019:** did u do the bio homework yamato gave us

**hina:** oh, i’ll help you with it!

**return2019:** nah its alright, i just need the answer to #8

**hina:** oh hold on shino knows this we’re studying together

**hina:** he says its nucleotides

**return2019:** aight thx

**return2019:** im pretty sure your failing bio anyways

**hina:** rude, i guess im just an idiot, huh?

**hina:** how long have you had a crush on naruto, just wondering?

**return2019:** WHAT THE FUCK

**return2019:** PLEASE DON’T TELL ANYONE HINATA

**hina:** its cool, its cool

**return2019:** SERIOUSLY

**hina:** i know, its alright!

**return2019:** i will murder you if u tell anyone and i am not joking

**hina:** i know sasuke chill

**hina:** i would never do anything to you and you know that

**return2019:** i know u wouldn’t do it on purpose but you can’t tell me you’ve never slipped up on anything because of your crippling social anxiety

**return2019:** i know u let ppl walk all over you and slip up quickly but seriously, this really matters and i cant have this fucked up

**hina:** ok wow rude u just hit something im insecure about, BUT

**hina:** i know my cis ass can’t understand what it feels like to come out, BUT

**hina:** (despite the fact no one ever thought you were straight ever, just saying)

**hina:** naruto is very bi and very single and really likes you

**hina:** i mean, he chased after u for like 3 years when ur father stuck u in conversion camp

**hina:** and um, if u ever need anything, im here to talk to

**hina:** just saying

9:45pm

**return2019:** thank you

**Konoha 11 (and Sai)**

**Members online:** averygoodboy, blaze it, seventhking, sapphowasright, croptopwontstop, whomst’d’ve, Cherryqueen

11:12am

**sapphowasright:** hey guys can i add kankuro

**Cherryqueen:** whomst

**sapphowasright:** the exchange student who eats with us and wears that cat ear hoodie

**sapphowasright:** who we talk to,,,, like,,,, every single day

**whomst’d’ve:** sakura how do u not know who he is

**Cherryqueen:** i won’t say

**seventhking:** yeah we’ve known him for a while!

**blaze it:** nooooooo

**blaze it:** can we not

**averygoodboy:** why

**blaze it:** hes kind of shady

**blaze it:** i get a feeling from him like he might be trying to corrupt the government

**sapphowasright:** fine by me, hope he wins

**sapphowasright:** but in all seriousness, that’s kinda ridiculous shika

**croptopwontstop:** he IS the brother of your crush anyways

**croptopwontstop:** are you still just embarrassed and think she told him about what u effin did

**averygoodboy:** well, either way we still need to add more ppl to the chat and hes really nice so…

**blaze it:** i’m good, thank you

**sapphowasright:** well its sakura’s group so its her decision

**blaze it:** come on, ur just doing this because shes your girlfriend

**sapphowasright:** haha that and im just filled with utter spite for ur existence

**blaze it:** i hate this team

**(omni-vore has logged on)**

**omni-vore:** D:

**blaze it:** not u choji

**blaze it:** ur ok

**omni-vore:** :D

**(Cherryqueen has added Kankuro)**

**Kankuro:** hi guys

**Kankuro:** sakura can i have mod really quickly

**Cherryqueen:** sure

**(Kankuro changed Kankuro’s name to puppeteer)**

**puppeteer:** i wanted a less dull name

**blaze it:** u mean ur name???

**puppeteer:** who is u

**omni-vore:** thats shikamaru

**puppeteer:** oh yeah u sit and sleep during lunch when im hanging with ur group, right??

**blaze it:** possibly

**\- - -**

**Group: Snake and snek**

**Members online:** snek, snake fucker

5:45am

**snake fucker:** H-hewwo is anybody there

**snek:** *cave slowly begins to fill with water*

**snake fucker:** H-hewwo pwease somebody hewp me H-ewwo!!

**snek:** *you can feel the surface of the water barely lapping at you*

**snake fucker:** Nononono hewwo! Hewo! Hewp me

**snek:** God wwest youw soul

**snake fucker:** Hewwo! Ma’am why awe you doing this to me Hewwo!! Hewp me pwease

**snake fucker:** M-mr obama is that you Hewwo! Pwease hewp me i seem to be in a wittle bit of twubble mr obama hewwo H-hewwo

**snake fucker:** @(oXo)@

**snake fucker:** Pwease Mr Obama Pwease save me i downt wanna die

**snake fucker:** H-hewwo mr obama you still thewe

**snake fucker:** M-mr obama pwease im drowning H-hewwo im scawed

**snake fucker:** Ill do anything fow you mr obama pwease hewp

**snek:** Anything?

**snake fucker:** Anything for you mr obama :3

**snek:** Then perish

**snake fucker: D** :

8:34am

_ ( _ **_whiteriot_ ** _ has logged on) _

**whiteriot:** what the fuck


	4. JIRAIYA RETURNS!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> did i mention i hate jiraiya

**Group:** Konoha 11 (and Sai)

**Members online:** omni-vore, thepxwerxfyxuth, blaze it, return2019, hina, averygoodboy, Cherryqueen, sapphowasright

**blaze it:** GUYS I GOT THAT GIRL’S NUMBER

**hina:** congrats, it looks like she doesn’t care about that incident!

**sapphowasright:** nah she still is pissed at him

**sapphowasright:** we’re just working on a project for algebra together so shika had to get her number

**sapphowasright:** its not really as much of an achievement as he wants himself to think

**blaze it:** ur being a drag shut it

**blaze it:** yall wanna know her name?

**blaze it:** her name is temari and it means sky and its very beautiful ugh

**hina:** haha that is soooo cute

**averygoodboy:** do u think i’m cute hinata

**hina:** yes kiba u are the cutest boy in this whole school u are beautiful

**blaze it:** awww fuck yall temari is the cutest creature in the universe beotch

\- - - 

4:20am

**seventhking:** nice

**Cherryqueen:** nice

**return2019:** nice

**omni-vore:** nice

**blaze it:** nice

**sapphowasright:** nice

**hina:** nice

**averygoodboy:** nice

**whomst’d’ve:** nice

**thepxwerxfyxuth:** you guys are so weird

**Buzzkill:** nice

**10/10:** nice

**puppeteer:** guys its 4 in the morning why is my phone going off

**puppeteer:** oh

**puppeteer:** nice

\- - -

**Group:** Squad leaders

**Members online:** snek, IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION, baki, god is a woman, shizune, gay babysitter, nard’s dad, token hetero

**baki:** hey everyone, has anybody seen gaara?

**god is a woman:** who in the fuck

**baki:** please don’t cuss

**baki:** my student and one of the transfers

**baki:** he’s not here today and i didn’t get an email about him being absent

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** maybe he left and killed himself to avoid learning in your crusty-ass classes like i would

**token hetero:** kakashi holy fuck i’m trying to teach and about 30 18 year olds are giving me the oddest looks

**token hetero:** i’m dealing with DEIDARA please

**baki:** rude

**nard’s dad:** oh gaara’s in counseling for trying to stick someone’s head in a sandbox i thought i sent you an email

**nard’s dad:** i guess it didn’t go through

**baki:** oh your good iruka

**(pervysage has logged on)**

**pervysage:** GUESS WHO JUST GOT OUTTA PRISON

**shizune:** oh FUCK no

**nard’s dad:** what is he doing here

**nard’s dad:** might guy your the mod for the chat explain how he got back on

**pervysage:** haha that bushy ass loser left his phone unlocked and i let myself walk back into the hall of losers ahahaha

**snek:** lol jiraiya my dude

**god is a woman:** wait are you in the school

**pervysage:** YEAH SARUTOBI GAVE ME MY TEACHING JOB BACK YASSSS

**token hetero:** excuse me while i go vomit

**nard’s dad:** great imma go tell naruto his removed godfather is back

**(god is a woman has logged off)**

**(nard’s dad has logged off)**

**(token hetero has logged off)**

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** and im gonna go tell guy he might have to keep his stuff more secure

**shizune:** why did you get your job back after that tax fraud charge which landed you in the clink for 3 years

**pervysage:** WOO! Yes sarutobi knows what is up

**pervysage:** he said he thinks i deserve a second-second chance after the porn and tax fraud charges and i am back to teaching health/pe alongside bushy ass!

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** you mean my husband you crusty motherfucker

**pervysage:** OH YES HOMO

**baki:** wait who is jiraiya

**IHAVECRIPPLINGDEPRESSION:** that motherfucker up there who somehow GOT HIS JOB BACK AFTER BEING ARRESTED FOR ILLEGAL PORN AND TAX FRAUD

**snek:** aw man i love jiraiya hes so fun

**shizune:** no orochimaru none of that, you’re his best friend which makes you an invalid

**snek:** D:

**pervysage:** if anyone wants to see this bastard in his classroom, come down to room 209 and lets PARTY

**shizune:** do u even have a class right now

**snek:** PARTY


End file.
